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Forgiveness Doesn’t Come with Amnesia: Healing Through Letting Go, Even When It Hurts

Writer's picture: Janet Blessing Janet Blessing


The truth of forgiveness is that you don’t forget. Often time I wish I could forget but who knew that forgiveness doesn’t get served with a side of amnesia? I was hurting so bad, I guess you can say I have a sensitive heart that shouldn’t harbor any unforgiveness. Like the beating of my heart, I can feel the emotional turmoils telling me that I need to let go of hurt, pain, and anguish. I need to forgive.

Although I know what the Word says about forgiveness, I find it hard to forgive seventy-seven times. Like a child told to share their toys, I find multiple reasons as to why that person doesn’t deserve my forgiveness. “They hurt me so bad” ,“ They don’t care about my wellbeing”, “their words are so venomous”, “How can I forgive someone who doesn’t think they are at fault”. I justify why they deserve forgiveness from me. Forgiveness doesn’t come with amnesia because when someone hurts you, you can still be reminded of that pain. That’s trauma.


Recently in my discipleship group, we were instructed to complete soul searching during September and truthfully it took until the middle of October to complete it. I cried every single time I sat to complete my journaling book, I relived every emotion I had tucked away. I was re-traumatised, reliving every memory and realising that there was lingering pain. I was experiencing so much pain emotionally that whenever I decided to complete an exercise from the book, I had to sit with my childhood friend who would glance over every few minutes and pass me tissues because I cried like a baby seeking the comfort of their mother.


Who knew forgiveness didn’t give you amnesia. I realise I had to forgive some people again, and that my heart needed that. Forgiveness is a neccisity for healing a wounded heart, so It doesn’t matter how many times I have to forgive, forgiveness heals. Everytime I get reminded of the same trauma, it’s a reminder to forgive again. When Jesus was asked by Peter the frequency of forgiveness and Jesus replied with “I do not say unto you seven times, but seventy- seven times” then followed with a parable echoed the importance of forgiveness. Whenever you remember trauma, forgive and forgive again.



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If this message resonated with you, I invite you to explore more of my reflections and writings. Let’s journey together toward healing, growth, and faith. Read more at Janet's Medium page

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